he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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