Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
