you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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