bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
