I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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