Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
