guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
