You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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