Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
