we made out on top of his cat.
false alarm. still invincible.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
what the fuck happened to the tacos
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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