I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
