when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize