I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
