we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
