A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
