dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
