Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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