I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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