I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i will never coherently bang her
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize