If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
