Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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