That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
