i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
