she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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