My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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