Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
