id be glad to
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
