I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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