I have demons in me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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