HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
