I've blown a few things in my day
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
