the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
