Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
