BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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