Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
