She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
