How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
