sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
