Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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