I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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