Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
And then he peed in my hair
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