i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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