Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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