that's an acceptable place to lick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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