no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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