Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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