I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
