my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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