Say something about gay babies.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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