I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
