Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
