Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
