How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
