i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
