I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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