Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize