just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
