I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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