but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
