i think my mom watched the whole time
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
