The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
