sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
