Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
