Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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