Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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