so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
