i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
