just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
