question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
