I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
